Aug 27

Pay No Attention to the Doctrine Behind the Curtain

 By John Immel

(For those of you who don’t care about the specifics of the SGM phenomena, give me a minute. This is going somewhere.)

 Ding Dong! The Witch Is Dead.

Which old Witch? The Wicked Witch!

Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead.

Wake up – sleepy head

Rub your eyes, get out of bed.

Wake up, the Wicked Witch is dead.

She’s gone where the goblins go,

Below – below – below. Yo-ho,

let’s open up and sing and ring the bells out.

Ding Dong’ the merry-oh,

sing it high,

sing it low.

Let them know

The Wicked Witch is dead! 

So some time has passed since Vicar Charles Joseph headed off to sit in the bad preacher doghouse. Rumor has it that the doghouse has traveled to other states and other countries south of the border where he is speaking in behalf of the very church he said he should not be leading.Read the rest

Jul 13

CJ Mahaney’s Metaphysical Magic Mayhem

CJ Mahaney, El Primo Doctrinal Mover and Shaker of Sovereign Grace Ministries fame, recently released a letter stating that he is stepping away from being the Alpha Big Dog at the top of the “First Among Equals” governing egalitarian hierarchy. It is my current understanding that he wrote this letter to the leaders within his family of churches on July 2nd. He subsequently made a blog post on July 6th for general consumption. There is one difference of consequence between the blog posts and the pastoral letter—blog version: first paragraph, CJ reserves the right to update his blog while he is on self-imposed doghouse vacation.

The gist of the letter/post is easy enough to understand: “People told me I’m a bad, bad sinner. (Whispering: ‘and they said the same thing about other leaders in SGM’) So I am going to put myself in timeout so I can morally navel gaze.”

If one is able to look past the coils of SGM speak slithering around the one-thousand-word document that threatens to squeeze your mind into a spiritual warm fuzzy, if you can remain conscious enough to spot the Harry Houdini level logical sleights of hand, it is rather obvious that CJ doesn’t really think he has done anything wrong.Read the rest

Jun 09

Viola Lessons

 

Somehow I ended up on a Frank Viola e-mailing list. Someone was very kind to add me. I suspect that the motive was either counterargument by proxy or they assumed that I would agree with what Mr. Viola is teaching. Whatever the reason and whoever put me there, thanks. I now have more fodder for my Spiritual Tyranny grist mill. Of course, I know some of you are Frank Viola fans, so this could get interesting. My fans are most affirming and vocal when I’m taking on the Sovereign Grace Ministries phenomena. I’ve said repeatedly that they are not my obsession, only a stepping off point. Anyone making a bid towards Spiritual Tyranny is fair game. To that end, let the frolic begin.

It must have been a divine appointment that I actually read the e-mail. As a rule, I delete what looks like spam. But I happened to notice that Frank weighed in on the Harold Camping End of the World deal.Read the rest

May 25

Camping Lessons

By John Immel

Unless the rapture only included about four people, I’m going to assume that it didn’t happen. I know, I know, some of you are shocked. Your calculator said the same thing that Harold Camping’s calculator did. I could crack a blonde joke, but that might get me in trouble. We can just all agree that math is hard.

What have we learned?

Well, if history is any measure … probably not much. I remember the first time (within my lifetime) that this whole Jesus is coming back in 5 minutes and 31 seconds occurred. Then the book was called 88 Reasons Why Jesus is coming Back in 1988 and lots of people were all in a dither about Jesus knocking on the Rapture door. The dithering was not limited to the Christian superzealous fringe as I had the opportunity to learn.

I made the unfortunate miscalculation of laughing riotously when my good friend’s mother offered the book up for discussion.… Read the rest

May 17

Campy Camping Camper

OK … so, I just heard that the world is supposed to end in a few days.  I should be excited but, I must confess, I’m sad.  I have been so stoked about my plan to rule the world, my “zeal” and “Concern” have been driving me towards that expression of leadership.  I can’t believe that the plan will be thwarted before it ever has opportunity to come into beautiful reality.

I mean… Mystic Despotism is still running rampant through people’s lives, and the angelic utopian socialism and her evil twin Marxism is running amuck all over the globe. There was so much work to be done to eradicate the Kantian Altruistic Ethic and restore moral clarity to the minds of men. And Platonist/Augustinianism is metaphysically wrecking man.  On the bright side, TRUTH and freedom was getting closer as I played puppet master to important people.  But … sigh… It seems like it is not to be.… Read the rest

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