Not to be confused as a reference to the dwarfs in that Disney Movie.  No…I am in fact referring to my emotional state.

My temptation at the moment is to rant and rave and then rave and RANT! I did read Noel’s Story on www.sgmsurvivors. It takes a while to get through for two reasons. There are lots of details and the emotional content will make most anyone with a pulse who is not a statist/collectivist have to walk away and hug their children every few paragraphs as they head to the phone to threaten their pastor. I don’t have children, so I hugged my stuffed animals and called my mom.   Then I went to a comedy club and listened to jokes for two hours. THEN I came back and finished the story and the thread that followed. It was a long night.

However, my rants are much better when I can cause carnage with my wit and humor. And today, I’m just not funny. Well…I am…but my funny bone is not connected to my Rant and Rave bone. Oh, but never fear, it will get re-attached. And I will resume my unrelenting assault on spiritual tyrants. (Names forthcoming)

Today is a mental health day…a post for the sake of posting something fun. I have an unwritten rule that I won’t post just for the sake of filling up post pages. When folks come here I am motivated to give them the best original content and social commentary I have.

On very rare occasions I will break my own rule.  Below are things that made me giggle.  And since I am not a nice Church boy (never have been, never will be, never want to be), you’ll get further an insight to my sense of humor.

***

Three Ducks Walk Into A Bar…

“Say, what’s your name?” the bartender asked the first Duck.

“Huey,” was the reply.

“How’s your day been, Huey?”

“Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. What else could a duck want?” said Huey.

“Oh. That’s nice,” said the bartender.

He turned to the second duck, “Hi, and what’s your name?”

“Dewey,” came the answer from duck number two.

“So how’s your day been, Dewey?” he asked.

“Great. Lovely day. I’ve had a ball too. Been in and out of puddles all day myself. What else could a duck want?”

The bartender turned to the third duck and said, “So, you must be Louie?”

“No,” she said, batting her eyelashes, “My name is Puddles.”

*****

IF College students had written the Bible:

• Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning–cold.
• The Ten Commandments are actually only five, double-spaced, and written in a large font.
• New edition every two years in order to limit reselling.
• Forbidden fruit would have been eaten because it wasn’t cafeteria food.
• Paul’s letter to the Romans becomes Paul’s e-mail to [email protected].
• Reason Cain killed Abel: They were roommates.
• The place where the end of the world occurs: Finals, not Armageddon.
• Out go the mules, in come the mountain bikes.
• Reason why Moses and followers walked in desert for 40 years: They didn’t want to ask directions and look like freshmen.
• Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, He would have put it off until the night before it was due and then pulled an all-nighter.

****

The Garden Of Eden

A Brit, a Frenchman, and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden.

“Look at their reserve, their calm,” muses the Brit. “They must be British.”

“Nonsense,” the Frenchman disagrees. “They’re naked and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French.”

“No clothes, no shelter,” the Russian points out, “they have only an apple to eat, and they’re being told this is paradise. Clearly, they are Russian.”