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Apr 21 2009

Ducks, Bar, Man, Pastor

By John Immel

So a duck in a mask walks into a bar and says, “Got any bread?”

(Stop me if you’ve heard this one.)

The barman says, “No.”

The duck jingles his spurs says, “Got any bread?”

And the barman, “NO!”

The Cavendish Gang said different. “Got any bread?”

“I said N-O, NO!”

Tonto said different. “Got any bread?”

“For crying out loud N-O spells NO and I mean NO!”

The Lone Ranger had friends. “Got any bread?”

“NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO”

The townspeople were pansies. “Got any bread?”

“Look, if you ask me one more time if I have got any bread, I’m going to nail your beak to the bar!”

“Got any nails?”

“No.”

“Got any bread?”

*    *    *

Oh, the furry of being powerless.

So a masked  man walks into a church and says, “You’ve got it all wrong.”

(Stop me if you’ve heard this one.)

The pastor says, “No, I don’t”

The man says, “You’re not running this church right.”

And the pastor says, “Yes, I am. I’ve got singles ministry?”

“You’re not doing it right!”

“I’ve got counseling?”

“You’re not doing it right!”

“I’ve got elderly ministry!”

“You’re not doing it right.”

“I’ve got Youth Ministry!”

“I’ve got doctrine.”

“You’re not doing it right.”

“Look, if you don’t be quiet and just sit down, I’m going to tell God you’re not listening to me. If you don’t do what I’m saying, God won’t do anything with you.”

“Oh, yeah. Where’s He at?”

“Well, I don’t know, but that’s what’s going to happen.”

“You’re not running this church right”

*    *    *

Get it?

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    18 comments

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    1. 16
      John Immel

      Miss Paddlefoot… 

      welcome… and thanks for your comments.

      John

    2. 17
      Juli

      Miss Paddlefoot,

      LOVE the name! welcome…

    3. 18
      Miss Paddlefoot

      John & Juli — tks for the welcome!

      John – also, thank you for having a place where God people can come and share, learn, and encourage on another.

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