Camping Lessons

Wednesday May 25, 2011 • 3 Comments 

By John Immel

Unless the rapture only included about four people, I’m going to assume that it didn’t happen. I know, I know, some of you are shocked. Your calculator said the same thing that Harold Camping’s calculator did. I could crack a blonde joke, but that might get me in trouble. We can just all agree that math is hard.

What have we learned?

Well, if history is any measure … probably not much. I remember the first time (within my lifetime) that this whole Jesus is coming back in 5 minutes and 31 seconds occurred. Then the book was called 88 Reasons Why Jesus is coming Back in 1988 and lots of people were all in a dither about Jesus knocking on the Rapture door. The dithering was not limited to the Christian superzealous fringe as I had the opportunity to learn.

I made the unfortunate miscalculation of laughing riotously when my good friend’s mother offered the book up for discussion. We will call her Petunia. Petunia was respectable in almost every area of her life. Successful, married to a good man, a house full of great kids, loved horses, puppies and kitties, and she was a pillar in her local upper middle class Virginia church. She handed me the book (purchased from her church book store). I thought it was a joke. Well, it was, but not one that Petunia thought was funny. What followed was three days of argument, consternation, evangelization, and recrimination.

By Sunday, Petunia—when it became apparent that my rapture to tribulation views were not at all in alignment with her interpretive “authority” and she had exhausted most every other intellectual manipulation—was reduced to tears, on her knees, beseeching God for my salvation in a roomful of people. She gave me a book by J. Dwight Pentecost, a full systematic dispensationalist Pre-Tribulation theology. It was her counterargument by proxy. She was positive that this book represented what the bible “clearly” teaches. My soul was in danger if I didn’t escape my deception. She tried to make me promise that I would read it, but even back then I didn’t make such commitments. And I’ve never accepted that evil demonic hordes could compel me to believe something independent of my own volition. To my amazement, Petunia was one of many that I encountered through 1988 who was utterly convinced of the Bible’s “clear” teaching of Jesus’ return during that year.

The reality is, this won’t be the last time we hear such a proclamation. Maybe Harold Camping will be relegated to the dustbin of absurdity, but probably not. I suspect he has already crafted a rationale that will justify the error. But if not him, someone soon will take another whack at all things Rapture, seeking to scare the bejeebers out of the world and into the Kingdom. Whatever “blessed hope” the rapture represents, as an evangelistic tool, it represents an open manipulation of people’s fears.

Let me wax brainy for a minute. To understand the tides of human history, it is important to grasp these two concepts.

  • Man abhors chaos.
  • Man needs a coherent body of ideas to govern his actions.

When man cannot find a coherent body of ideas to explain the chaos, he tends to toss his hands in the air and his brain into the grand end zone of life: the Rapture is the ultimate Hail Mary.

Most of the Biblical “end times signs” are sufficiently pervasive throughout the world and common enough to local cultures that they can be seen in most any nation. And those signs that are not local and obvious, man becomes creative with rumors and portents to fill in the blanks so that their life qualifies. So, in pretty much every age, some Christians somewhere have thought they were living in the last days.  All men live in some form of social pandemonium and national turmoil. This chaotic existence grates on their bones driving man to collective despair. When nothing makes sense, Man will suffer most any indignity to find something that orders the chaos. So, when the indignity does not seem to be serving a purpose, he is inclined to just check out. It looks like the game clock is ticking down, so let’s blow this popsicle stand. Jesus is coming back NOW!

OK … I mixed sports metaphors with idioms in that last paragraph, but you get the point. Chaos messes with people’s heads, so some people disconnect so they don’t have to deal.

It is no mystery why many people are seduced by the Get Out of Tribulation Free message. People see the bad stuff and decide that it is everyone else’s fault. Everyone else’s sin is causing the disasters, so someone needs to DO something about all those bad people. Some men can’t handle the barest intellectual wind resenting the postmodern polyglot hell. They lust for someone, anyone, to impose order. “I’m really smart, so I see true wisdom. But would someone make these other nincompoops believe the right thing so I can find security?!” When it becomes apparent that no one really has the power to make everybody do “right,” they toss up their hands with an “Even so, Come Lord Jesus! The Rapture! The Rapture! The Rapture! And oh, by the way, Daddy is coming back to screw up your life.”

After the woe and tumult in 1988, I decided to dig into this phenomenon. You of course remember Petunia. Her book ended up being a great gift.  It became a primary source in my dissertation a few years later.  The original title was “Are We Getting Out of This Place or Not?” and was based on a much smaller paper I had offered to my Advanced Systematic class the year prior.  (The hue and cry in that seminar was a thing of beauty.)

Anyway, Dr. Autry was not amused and asked me to change the title. I think it became “A Survey of Dispensational Eschatological Positions of the Parousia” or some such. But I can’t find the cover sheet, so I’m not positive. I still think my title was better.

Two years later I gave dear Petunia a copy of my work. The difference was I didn’t tell her she was going to hell—or at least suffer the tribulation—if she failed to read and change her mind. If memory serves, Petunia’s daughter later said that her mother threw it away “Because it was evil” to which Petunia’s son said, “But John was right.”

Those words sent a thrill through my soul. Way back then, I bought into the Altruistic moral standard and held my peace, but I still thought: “I told you so.”

Anyway . . .

The question that lingers from that encounter and simmers at the back of so  many Christian conversations is how was it that after being proved so utterly wrong, could Petunia—sane by most any definition—refuse to accept the utter failure of her ideas and reevaluate?

She would never tolerate such intellectual passivity, such horrific rational failing from her kids in the world of work, or school, or conduct. She would never have let her kids toss out a math book because they wanted to insist that 2+2= emotional investment. She would have taken them to a doctor and had them committed to a mental hospital if they wailed and cried for her salvation when confronted social critique on most any other subject.

And yet Petunia could ignore this clear declaration: “But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but My Father only.”

Is chaos the sole villain driving people to interpretive error?

The answer is no. Chaos is merely the catalyst, the fuel for the real scoundrel.

Here is what I observe.

  • Everyone assumes the force of Bible understanding is authority.
  • Everyone believes they read the Bible correctly.
  • Everyone believes that their correct Bible reading grants them authority.
  • Everyone believes that authority is in service to compelling right ideas.
  • Everyone thinks that God wrecks people’s lives if they don’t believe right things. (A strange belief if one accepts predestination, but whatever)

The bullet points above are a fair summation of Petunia’s attitudes and actions. I would not concede her authority to dictate a doctrinal assertion. Her arguments swung between an emotional wide-eyed wonder for the TRUTH of Jesus’ return, and a defiant rational inaction at a counterargument. While her tears seem like an expression of compassion, they were really in service to frustration. Her annoyance was the emotional manifestation of an underlying rational passivity. Petunia’s anxiety centered on a full and total unwillingness to engage any unapproved idea. Because my arguments did not measure up to her standard of a “Biblical Authority,” she felt free to accuse me of deception. Her effective “logic” was if I didn’t believe exactly what she did, I would suffer the Tribulation, which was her way of saying I would be condemned to Hell. That was the stick on the other side of the Rapture carrot.

Fast-forward to the Harold Camping dealeo.

I made no effort to become a master of all things Harold Camping. My goal was merely to get a handle on where he was coming from. It didn’t take that long. He is a rehash of so many doctrinal traditions. If not for his end of the world spectacle, most people would find it hard to disagree with the Protestant orthodoxy at the center of his teaching.

From my brief evaluation of Harold Camping’s writing, the bullet points above are a fair summation of his argument. Just like Petunia, he leads with the assumption that he reads the Bible correctly, and everyone else is apostate. He rejects traditional authority structures by pointing to their failed hermeneutical “logic” and their power to influence historic interpretive understanding. He is hardly the first man to offer that critique.  To be sure, Martin Luther’s rejection of “Orthodox” conclusions was more scandalous than Camping and exponentially far more reaching. People will resent this reality, but the roots of Luther’s 95 Theses are effectively the roots of Camping: a challenge to the tradition of authority and authority’s interpretive methodology.

It is much easier to believe that Camping is one of the many lunatics on humanity’s fringe making an unjustified claim to authentic Christianity. And that is pretty much what the critics said about Luther. Good old Martin’s challenge to “apostate” authority structures seems like an obvious given now, but back then, the consternation rose to a full on roar. And the Papacy had the obvious advantage of being able to put people on the rack.  Their condemnation of anyone who listened to Luther for failing to “read the Bible correctly” and “follow mere men” had teeth. The Catholic detractors said pretty much exactly what everyone is saying about Harold and company now, but modern critics can’t hurt people in the name of God and Church.

Historic similarities aside, let’s pretend that Camping is a full on nut bar and it is heresy to place him in the same sentence as Luther. How then do we explain LOTS of very zealous, very committed Christians swallowing his candy, selling everything and dragging their kids into the streets to pass out tracts?

I submit it really isn’t that complicated. Combine people’s underlying terror for chaos and Camping’s assertion of “authority,” and you can see the lever of persuasion. His followers don’t want to be left out of the Rapture.  They fear Tribulation, which for many is merely a precursor to being condemned to Hell. (Or in Camping’s case, annihilation) So, his followers defaulted to what they considered his “authority” to define biblical doctrine and explain the age within which they live. So, the issue is not a failure to “Follow Jesus” instead of “Man” or a failure to adhere to “orthodox” doctrine.  The issues revolve around submission to authority. When men are commanded to subordinate their thinking to any other man, they have abandoned the critical tools necessary to resist his edicts. Suffering Tribulation is a huge stick up against subordinating one’s mind. So, the drive to subordinate coincides with the drive to find someone, anyone who can order the chaos.

This is exactly what gave dear Petunia so much consternation. I was intellectually undeterred by the threat of suffering judgment for refusing her doctrinal understanding. I did not fear the stick behind her Rapture carrot.  As far as she was concerned, that meant I was apostate because I do not fear God, so she needed to pray for my soul.

And this was the underlying theme revealed in the articles and videos featuring Camping’s followers. They swung between an emotional wide-eyed wonder for the TRUTH of Jesus’ return and a defiant rational passivity at any counterargument. They were not persuaded of Jesus’ return because they could offer an objective idea, but rather paid heavy attention to the authority of “signs” and refusing to question Harold Camping because they were “feeling positive.” They seemed insulted by those who rejected their beliefs attributing opposition to a prevailing evil deception so they needed to pray for everybody’s soul. I had flashback to my dear Petunia.

I eventually turned my attention to the reviews of the anti-Camping … uh… camp. There was no surprise here either. Where Camping argued that apostasy was embedded within the historic tradition and authority structures, the anti-Campings argued that apostasy was in the departure from the historic tradition and authority structures. This is the flip side of the same coin. Surprise, surprise. The anti-Campings assumed THEY read the Bible correctly and that reading was in service to sustaining a longstanding authority. And if the specific writer didn’t think they had the gravitas to condemn Camping, they quoted people who they thought did. The anti-Campings almost openly pined for someone, anyone, to ride in and make the nincompoops believe right things.

In Namaste Nemesis and Hunk of Burning Love, I talked at length about the relationship between authority and force. To be sure, the vast percentage of this blog is dedicated to addressing the implications behind force in service to specific ideas. The problem has little to do with people seeking to calculate the Greenwich Mean Time of Jesus’ return. Rather, this whole dynamic illustrates the power of authority to compel intellectual compliance. Here is what I noticed: In every instance—Petunia, Camping, anti-Camping—the prognosis was some variation of “God is going to mess you up if you don’t believe what I say.”

Dear Spiritual Tyranny Reader, this is the essence of Mystic Despotism: the manipulation of man’s spiritual insecurities and fears to demand intellectual compliance. It is at the heart and soul of the evil spreading across the face of the globe. Heaven forbid that people actually acquire the force of Government to compel ideas and outcomes.

. . .

. . .

. . .

Since predictions are all the rage, here is mine. Chaos will continue to grate on man’s soul. The deeper into European Collectivism that America trends, the greater the cultural tide against freedom and liberty will swell. The farther down the path of philosophical bankruptcy we trend, the greater the chaos will reverberate back into our lives. Increasing numbers of men will lust for someone, anyone, to impose order. Someone will shortly say that we are all still here because we are too reprobate, too sinful for God to come back and get his kids. The Church is not yet sufficiently pure for His return. They will advocate that the Church must push for ever increasing reform, and purging, and civic action. Eventually, the Petunia brand of consternation will seep into the public square as people demonstrate they are intellectually undeterred by men proclaiming the threat of divine judgment by proxy. They won’t fear the stick behind the Bible “authority” which will be extended to mean that men do not fear God. In a fit of exasperation, some church leader will decide that prayer is not nearly sufficient to turn the tide on man’s sinful actions. The lust for order will turn to a quest for civil power. Church authorities will demand that God’s righteous law be met with the teeth of government force. You will then hear the following progression that I layout in detail in my upcoming book Blight in the Vineyard.

When it becomes apparent that people do argue over what God’s glory looks like, when it becomes obvious that the infidel just won’t get with the program and submit to their very noble rule, what is left for der Ubermenschen [supermen] to do but to eliminate the rebellious, to eradicate the very enemy of God?

It is small intellectual steps down the path:

  • Alleged “Mass Incompetence”
  • Inarguable “Mass Predestined Incompetence”
  • Inarguable “Predestined Enemy of God” who subverts the faithful, righteous sheep with bad ideas and sexual decadence
  • Inarguable “Predestined Vessels of Destruction”
  • Unquestionable “Predestined Leadership,” moralizing the force of government to defend the faithful, righteous sheep from bad people doing bad things with body parts
  • Unquestionable “Predestined Leadership” destroying the “Predestined Vessels of Destruction” in the name of God and righteousness

Heaven forbid that these predestined leaders get it in their head that their very righteous governmental efforts are in service to the apocalyptic return of the Messiah or the millennial reign of Christ. The moment a predestined leader thinks his actions are essential to purify the world for the return of Christ, make EVERY effort to get them out of power, because if you fail, the blood inevitably runs thick and deep. Do not doubt me here. History is full of examples of this very dynamic.

Christianity is ripe for a repeat performance.



Campy Camping Camper

Tuesday May 17, 2011 • 8 Comments 

OK … so, I just heard that the world is supposed to end in a few days.  I should be excited but, I must confess, I’m sad.  I have been so stoked about my plan to rule the world, my “zeal” and “Concern” have been driving me towards that expression of leadership.  I can’t believe that the plan will be thwarted before it ever has opportunity to come into beautiful reality.

I mean… Mystic Despotism is still running rampant through people’s lives, and the angelic utopian socialism and her evil twin Marxism is running amuck all over the globe. There was so much work to be done to eradicate the Kantian Altruistic Ethic and restore moral clarity to the minds of men. And Platonist/Augustinianism is metaphysically wrecking man.  On the bright side, TRUTH and freedom was getting closer as I played puppet master to important people.  But … sigh… It seems like it is not to be.

Harold Camping says the numbers cannot lie.  With Bible and calculator in hand, working that magic biblical numerological calculus, Camping and followers are sure that the differential equation comes out May 21st and then poof!  We are all gone.

Spirituality comes from a calculator!  Math is hard!  If only I had known! Mr. Stotlz, if I had only understood that your painfully boring, utterly snoozifying junior year algebra class would decide my fate!  Take me now cruel world!  My hopes have been dashed!

>sob<

>sniffle<

Oh, thanks for the Kleenex.

But I’m wondering.  Does that mean they are selling Family Radio for a song?  I’d like to offer my 3.75 cents to buy what should be worthless now.

Another man’s folly might be another man’s gain. Maybe the dream is not dead?

Someone get me Camping’s phone number … let’s see if his money is where is mouth is?

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Follow up Post: http://spiritualtyranny.com/camping-lessons/



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